


Love: Rush

by bluegrass



Series: By the Second Meeting [3]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Aloe vera plants, Crushes, Dark Undertone, Discomfort in one's own thoughts, F/F, Facebook Messaging, Insecurity, Internal Conflict, Not Established Relationship, Small Talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-24
Updated: 2017-02-24
Packaged: 2018-09-26 15:56:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9910205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluegrass/pseuds/bluegrass
Summary: “To be careful with people and with words was a rare and beautiful thing.”― Benjamin Alire Sáenz, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe





	

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter can be read as a standalone or related to previous chapters in the series. Enjoy.

Despite receiving your Facebook with great vigour and embarrassing enthusiasm, the act of adding you by myself just seemed too much of a burden to bear. It felt awful as grim throbs beat against my conscience like icy raindrops upon rocky pavement. The struggle was undeniably real at the time as I felt irrationally against coming off too clingy or lustful.

It wasn’t long till I gave to the torturous temptation however. Of all the mysteries the world had to offer, my attraction to you had been one of the greatest wonders of all time during the shorter amount of years I’d lived to question ‘why’ and ‘how’.

Interest and curiosity were the initial causes of why I came to approach your dazed figure. But time only made to deepen the unidentifiable longing. I wasn’t alone, for one; but lonely nonetheless. And perhaps it was the melancholy of that emotion that brought me closer to you still.

The sky dimmed. Dark, due to the coverage of heavy grey clouds. The dirty cottons of ashen white sagged touching the horizon of its sky; sunlight no longer ruled its warm element, I sat nervously behind the screen of my very first laptop with my heart threatening to leap out of its ribcage.

The reply for my invite was almost immediate. Relief came to me in a sharp exhale. The need to impress you felt medieval. I ask for a courtship and you curiously comply, unseeing of where it might take us. Marriage in wedlock or higher arrangements, it seemingly didn’t matter. You’d click your heeled shoes on the marbled pavement with a thin mask concealing your truest desires. Curiosity, puzzlement, boredom- will bring you to places you never knew.

Life brought upon its blinding light even among the darkening of the actual sky. My studies refused to be ignored. The pile of books, stuck with helpful notes and one too many sticky notes awaited my touch, I could almost hear a pleading wail from the ageing pages.

I sighed.

Lightning crackled- flashing pillars of light. Then came the thunder with an echoing roar. Seldom did I fear anything, bouts of lightning and thunder certainly weren’t going to start filing bookmarks of fears in the cramped spaces of my mind anytime soon. A familiar ring of notification popped along my screen. A poke from my truest crush- the longest one thus far- and I was helplessly pleased to see of it.

You initiated our conversation with polite greetings as I returned the same. We had intelligent conversations over the span of a few short hours. Your knowledge and wit through a computer screen astounded me. Even without words nor eyes to express your fair opinions, you managed to portray the initial bashfulness I laid longing eyes upon. And at the same time, a surprising confidence behind your viewpoint that lends an open ear to what others might’ve said.

If the throbbing in my chest ceased to beat, and the trembling in my hands were likely to feel warm no more, I firmly believe it was love I felt. A very early, fleeting love. Admiration it was at this point; loving admiration, no more, no less.

My eyes widened with appreciation when you started to reveal more of yourself. It was highly uncommon to have heart-to-heart talks without the revealing of light information first, but you did the exact opposite anyway. Going against the regularities of what I’d come to accept after one too many similar incidents.

I’d learnt several things about you over the short and most enjoyable time I'd ever had over the past few hours.

For example: you liked the plant aloe because they soothed the burns you got as a child; your favourite foods included anything without capsicum because you couldn’t stand its tangy taste on tongue; you liked the idea of a good time among people our age, but the thought of going to actual parties truly scared you.

It was enough. The few pieces of information fed the mare of my soul with more than enough satisfaction. I wasn’t to push beyond the boundaries of personal space and it was fine. Like when we talked about family, it was a sensitive subject it seemed; I learnt you had lost a precious individual. I noticed the increase of minutes it took for you to reply and in even shorter words from its wake; I dropped the subject knowingly to ask something else. _When’s your birthday?_ I typed. _February 13 th _-you answer with a smiling emoji after the date.

Another thing I learnt along the too few 'minutes' with you was that you detested lies. Hinting at it on more than one occasion. The memory of you speaking of a deceased loved one spoke on more than one level in how you’d appreciate honesty and sincerity. My teeth were grit tight then. Lies would be vital if I were to keep you safe; because pretty evasiveness were all I had to protect those close and precious.

Being evasive wasn’t outright dishonesty of course. But it was unpleasant to the opposite party all the same.

No dirty secrets were kept in my embrace. I hadn’t killed a man or woman. But just the _image_ of your disgust to know that I most certainly would to keep you felt startlingly saddening in my mind. Darkness wasn’t meant to be _shared_ , especially to the you I felt so _desperate_ to belong.

It was disturbing to realize I’d take a life or lives for you; and not because of love but because I liked you just enough. As if dying for someone weren’t already romantic enough.


End file.
